“We need to create a safe space.” What’s the first image that comes to mind? Perhaps it resembles a place where mutual appreciation, non-judgment, kindness, and spaciousness prevail. A space where one can freely express thoughts, knowing they will be heard. I’ve experienced such spaces, but over time, some of them turned toxic and unsafe. Why? People, in an attempt to appear mindful and kind, began to sugarcoat their words and actions. The space became insincere, a realm where you suppressed the urge to exclaim, “Come on, let’s be real!” You started pretending to understand when you didn’t, agreeing when you disagreed, and pretending to be someone you’re not.

Furthermore, when you ventured outside the boundaries of agreement, support, and understanding, people silenced you with comments like, “This isn’t conscious or mindful.”

To me, a safe space embodies the following principles:

Radical Honesty: It’s a place where everyone speaks their mind candidly, not what they think they should say to conform to a misconstrued notion of “being kind.” Of course, this doesn’t mean using cruel or humiliating words.

Utmost Clarity: It’s where we use the clearest and most direct language, avoiding unnecessary convolution. Here, I can say, “I disagree,” without taking a personal jab at someone. Others can likewise express their dissent respectfully, and I honor them for sharing their honest opinion. It’s a place where productive discussions occur without becoming personal.

Higher Purpose: It thrives on a shared purpose and the intention to achieve greatness collectively, going beyond the ordinary.

Courage: A safe space, in my view, is one where I’m surrounded by individuals with open hearts and the courage to do what needs to be done.

Self-Responsibility: It’s a place where people are accountable for themselves, not shifting the burden of their reactions onto others. They aren’t concerned with appearing good to others because their own opinion of themselves matters most.

This is the kind of space where I thrive. I don’t require sweet talk; I crave straightforward communication. I appreciate the concept of tough love, a way of showing love by respecting others in their responsibility and integrity.